I’m on vacation at our beach house on Cape Cod in SE Massachusetts. Took a red eye Friday night after my work ended. It was a nice sunny day yesterday but clouds have moved in today so its more of a sit inside and look out at the water kind of day today. This place is typically my happy place, or at least the place where I feel good for once, where I feel whole as corny as that sounds. Anyways so far that doesn’t feel that way. Even last year when my issues began to arise I still felt whole here. The thought that I don’t feel that way this year scares me. I worry that I am losing everything now. At the same time I have a little bit of hope that not all is lost because I still feel better than I do when I am home.