Changing Age and Changing Friends

“Hi desk buddy”

“Hey”

“Whats your favorite game?”

“Uh…I don’t know…”

“My name is C. Nice to be your buddy”

 

That’s how our friendship started, my best friend. Our names rhymed, we had a song. We had so much in common. We were a match made in heaven for friendship back in the 1st grade, or so I thought. 11 years later things have changed, and not the way I expected. I became angry, cynical, and depressed. She became crazier, loud, and mean. She pokes mean comments towards me in public that she may think is joking and a sign of our friendship, but it really hurts me inside, makes me boil and get angry, makes me feel like shit. I could handle it but I think im ready to draw the line now. She keeps hanging out with my other best friend which makes me feel like I am being replaced. Falling farther and farther out of the picture, becoming more and more isolated. Then today she hit my knee and I said ow because I hurt that knee a few weeks ago and its still been hurting she stated

“M. A hurt knee to you is like a scratch for everyone else.”

That sparked something in me that made me so angry. Today she was talking to me about how she had a hand seizure this morning or something which was likely complete lying bullshit but she has the audacity to say that I am a wimp, she doesn’t know what I have been dealing with. Im exhausted all the time, I have been dealing with passing out and having seizures for the last YEAR AND A HALF and I haven’t gone to the doctor. I haven’t told anyone, I have been dealing with it this entire time without knowing what the fuck is going on, thinking what if its worse today, what if something happens. My knee has been hurting for 3 weeks after twisting part of my knee which caused sharp pain for hours…yes it hurts and there could be something wrong with it. I have issues and I don’t bitch about them all the time so shut the fuck up. I don’t like to burden people with all my problems and life stories like you do.

 

I am not a wimp.

Sorry kind of had to get that out.

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