And Let The Paranoia Ensue

So a couple months ago i’m not sure if you all remember but i got door dinged and got a dent on the side of my car which sent me into a full meltdown of crying and screaming…a couple weeks later i scratched the bottom side of my car a little bit on a really narrow drivewayk which also sent me into a meltdown of crying and screaming and freaking out. Well the saga continues…

A little backstory: I live in an unincorperated area of the county in the foothills of the cascades on a hill. The road up the hill to my house is a fairly busy road but the road condition isn’t very good…there are lots and lots of bumps and potholes and its almost inevitable to avoid them all.

So I was driving home up the hill and I hit one of the deeper potholes a couple of miles away from my house. I got home and heard the sound of air seeping out of the tire and thought “oh shit”. 30 minutes later the tire was completely flat. Anyways i was partially proud of myself cause i only partially freaked out…no screaming…just major freaking out and getting upset. I got the spare tire on and now have to figure out about whether i can patch the tire or if I have to get a new one…a bit concerned about whether a patch would hold when i drive up the forest roads. 

Anways so whenever something like this happens major paranoia ensues…I’m very paranoid about the potholes tomorrow and I will likely be very paranoid about potholes and my tires. This paranoia will likely persist for a few months. I’m still paranoid about people around my car or things around my car. Every time I park somewhere I have to do a walk around my car to check for any damage even though I know i didn’t hit anything or nothing hit me….now that walkaround is going to include tire checks. Ugh.

Well this was a rather pointless post but im glad I wrote it and posted…i’ve been wanting to write a few points but i haven’t had enough energy or desire to spend the time and write one, sorry guys.

On another note I think i might write a short story…not sure why i just thought of the perfec title for a piece whether its a poem or a short story and I want to use it…Maybe i’ll write a poem instead because lets be real. I dont have the attention span to write a short story. I have big plans and big dreams and I never complete them…ever.

Found this quote on depression and friends like 5 minutes ago while i was procrastinating on writing this post (see i never finish anything/cant focus)  

“Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.” – Stevie Fry

I would like to thank my friends who i know I can go to, who i trust, who put up with my constant ranting, complaning, depressedness, anxiety/paranoia, annoyingness, and just generally everything. You guy’s have no idea how much you mean to me and how lost I would be without you guys.


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