People

People and I have an interesting relationship.

I hate people…they piss me off…an idiot walking slow in the grocery store, someone talking loudly on the phone in a restaurant. A dumb ass driver on the highway…I hate them…they get in my way.

But its not all people, i love my friends and they are great…anyways

Its interesting though…at the same time I thrive off people. When people are around I cant be sad, i cant be in a fog, moping around reminding myself how stupid I am. I have to get up, be happy, be perky. Be my “Usual self”.

When people who dont know what goes on in my head describe me they say im upbeat, positive, happy person….HAH…little do they know. 

But I thrive off people…without people, i would sit at home 24/7 moping around, being sad, hating myself, hating everything, thinking about everything i suck at, everything i cant do, everybody i’ve hurt, everybody who hurts…I dont know if i would still be around. 

But instead, im around people, needing to be happy to hide my feelings. Sometimes i falter and cant hide it for a day or two but people just think i’m tired or something like that.

But at the same time people scare the shit out of me…but i’ll talk about that later.

While I hate most people, I thank them.

(P.S dont be offended by this, I dont hate you guys. Thank you for following and commenting and giving me advice and all that stuff!)

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