Blades

*Possible trigger warning* in case you couldn’t tell by the title.

I used to cut with scissors, dull ones…I had to attack my arms…slice after slice over and over, and still there was barely any blood, but the pain was there, the slow tearing of the skin….aching pain would last for days after.

I found a razor blade a couple months ago…I knew i should have just thrown it out, but i kept it. 

Im not sure I like the razor blade, its just a prick, You dont feel the pain of slowly tearing skin like I did with the scissors. It draws lots of blood and scares easily…but you dont feel the pain that you do with the scissors. I dont care about the blood, I care about the pain, I deserve the pain…its punishment.

I deserve the slow and messy scissors, not the clean and swift razor blades.

 

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