“I’m worried about you”

I woke up exhausted as always and had a few hours to chill at home before I went to work. I got excited before work because there was a chance of thunderstorms and some of them were moving toward me. I got to work and the thunderstorms died and my student was being rather frustrating and excitment soon turned to anger and sadness. Then I got an email about doing some of my payroll wrong and that just made it worse. Work dragged on for a couple more hours and when I finally got done all I wanted to do was to do nothing at all. 

My new laptop was having a couple of issues with my new laptop so I wanted to take it to the store to see if they could fix it so I asked my mom if I could go and see what they could do and someone we ended up getting a little heated and then she all of a sudden said

“I’m worried about you…” 

“you’re always so angry”

I was taken aback but quickly hugged her to prevent her from seeing my shocked face and said

“I’m fine.” 

It would have been so easy to say I’m not ok, but I couldn’t do it. I dont want her to know but at the same time I secretly home she keeps persuing being “worried about me.”

Then I got into a lovely fight with my dad and sister…and here I am.

Today was a shitty day…Blech.

Side note, saw this, so true!
Being sad is crying then moving on. Being depressed is getting to a point where you don’t even cry anymore, you just sit there, numb.


5 thoughts on ““I’m worried about you”

  1. It’s good that you hugged her and all (gosh, I wish I was able to do that for reassurance!) but maybe you might wanna mention a few things.
    But then, I’m a hypocrite. I’m still pretty quiet maintaining the “everything’s a-okay” approach. *hugs*

    And when reading this, although surprised to hear someone else who’s found that with depression you get to a point where you just don’t feel anything…awwww :/

    • Ya its so much easier to go with the a-okay approach rather than to actually talk about it, especially when you dont really want the person to know but at the same time you’re not sure how much more you can take of what you are going through.

      • …I’ve got tears in my eyes now. I’m surprised how quick they came.
        My thoughts exactly.

        Oh..what to do..

      • Oh im sorry 😦 Funny youtube videos help sometimes. I hope you feel better soon…im always here to talk but I understand that its hard to talk a lot of the time :(.

      • No no, I’m sorry.
        I shouldn’t have told you that. It’s just…hearing someone else fit the words together of what I’m thinking so perfectly is sad.
        I have been feeling better, honest, I have. But I..hmm. I think a lot, and there’s just one thing which plays on my mind, when it comes to self harm. It’s weird, I know. I’m kinda afraid to raise it with my counsellor because she’ll think I’m messed up.
        You know what I mean?

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