Panic attacks are fun…

Well today has been an awful awful day so far…and its only 11am. I’m heading home today so I had to leave my hotel early then drive 3 hour away to the airport. No more than 30 minutes into my drive there was a major car accident that shut down the highway. So I had to drive across the grass median and turn around, well my rental car doesnt have a lot of ground clearance so I hit the bumper on the grass on my way back up and popped it out a little bit on the left wheel well. I was able to pop it back in so it was barely noticeable and lucky the rental company didn’t notice so shhh. 😛 .

Then about 30 minutes after that I was driving on the highway and didn’t notice that the speed limit went down from 70 to 65 and of course there was a police officer. So I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. This then prompted me to have a panic attack and cry and hyperventilate and scream and I couldn’t stop shaking  and was so so close to puking my stomach I was so queasy.. I had to pull over for a good 30 minutes cause it was not safe for me to drive at all. It took a good hour and a half for my panic attack to stop but after 30 minutes I had to go. So now I have a 130$ speeding ticket ( i think its 130 the officer didn’t actually say.) My parents are going to kill me when i get home, I can pay for it easily but they will still be very pissed off. Hopefully my mom understands that i’ve been beating myself up about it for hours and beating myself up about it way more than usual.

If you’ve been following me for a while now then you probably know how incredibly important and sacred driving is for me. For those who are relatively new, well driving is incredibly important to me. A good two years before I was able to get my license I couldnt wait until I could. I got 100% on my driving test and a 98% on the written test Once I had my license I would drive all the time just for the sake of driving. I hate to toot my own horn and sound like an asshole but im a very good driver. I am always in control of the car and I know how to maneuver a car very well, I just have a really good feel for it. I also spend my weekends driving on sketchy forest roads that are barely wide enough for a car, ridden with ruts, potholes, trees, river crossings, and often thousand foot drop offs on the other side of the road. My already good feel for how to drive a car plus all the practice I have had has made me a very very good driver (sorry if I sound like a snob). I love driving so much you guys, its one of the most important things for me. So having anything bad happen while driving, like getting a speeding ticket freaks me out to no end and is kind of a blow to my ego I guess…there’s a better saying for it but I cant think of it.

So getting the ticket sucks ass and I am still freaking out about it, my parents are probably going to kill me. Ugh its been such an awful day. Most people wouldn’t be freaking out nearly as much as I am. Fuck you panic attacks and paranoia.

I hope you all are having a better day than I am!

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