Well I met one of my suitemates but didn’t catch his name. Last night they had a mock dance club thing in between the two dorms which meant there was blaring music till 12:30am in the morning. I tried to go to bed at 10pm but with my roommate coming in and playing a game on his computer + loud people in the hall + the loud music meant that I couldn’t sleep till 1am. The fact that I couldnt go to bed gave me a panic attack which was crappy and I have waves of moderate panic attacks today when I realize how alone and screwed I am at college and how coming to a big state school was an awful idea even though its the only place with a meteorology program. I found out about one place this summer which is a small state college in Vermont with 1,500 people that has a good meteorology program…I wish I had known about it earlier so I could have applied there.
Oh my god I’m screwed. It also doesnt really help that for the last couple of weeks my scars have felt super visible…makes me even more insecure than I already am.