Things went south.

I’m sure it could have been worse, but its definitely been the worst depressive episode i’ve experienced. I have zero focus (it’s taken me days to write this crappy post). My memory is complete shot. I am the most depressed I have ever been in my life and the most suicidal i’ve ever been. I always figured that I wouldn’t act on any of my suicidal thoughts but man was I close this time. I was/am definitely at the point where I don’t care about my life at all. Eh I could go on and on but my focus is very slim.

Seeing a counselor and a doctor here and am getting back on my meds. The new doctor agreed with my 1st doctors bipolar diagnosis so I guess I kind of have to take it seriously now, or at least try to accept it and stop convincing myself that its a fluke. 😦 This is going to be difficult.

I just need to find something that works.

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