And i’m not 100% sure why I feel that way, I don’t have many specifics besides that there is such a tornado of emotions and feelings going on inside my head. I can’t focus on anything but at the same time I am focusing and obsessing about everything. I haven’t experienced anxiety this bad since about 10 years ago. I am so incredibly agitated, angry, and full of energy yet at the same time I am exhausted and depressed, if it weren’t for sleeping pills I don’t think I would be sleeping much. Not to mention the excessive paranoia. I feel like everything is hopeless and there are no solutions, besides the solution of killing myself, which is the best solution for now. Theres so much more to it at the same time I can’t explain, I am just so stuck in my head, and everything in my head is screaming. Fuck me. Maybe i’ll post again later if more words head my way, but probably not lets be honest my focus and ability to commit is non existent.